Being a true net denizen, the first thing I did was not to call my doctor, but to log in and search for information. I researched pregnancy and the medications I had taken on medline, finding little reassurance. I posted my dilemma to alt.support.pregnancy.

I immediately heard reassuring words from other “older” pregnant women, some of whom had taken the same medications as me. Many of them pointed me to places where I could get more information.

I began to haunt the web pregnancy sites, and it wasn’t long before I discovered the pregnant mommies mailing lists. These lists are tied to your due date, and so I joined the January 1997 list. This was my first experience with a mailing list, and I was unsure of what to expect.

Soon, the messages started flowing in. Discussions about morning sickness, expanding waistlines, and hopes for our children abounded. I was pleased to discover that I was not the oldest mom there, but one of several.

The group ranged from very young, single moms to more mature married moms. We even had several men who were there to learn about what their wives were experiencing. We ended up with about 100 parents, all pregnant, all due the same month.

Over the course of that year, we had many hilarious moments, as well as some poignant ones. Moms who had older children shared their wisdom with inexperienced moms, and reassured them about labor and delivery. We shared recipes, discussed remedies for stretch marks, and rejoiced as each mom-to-be felt her baby move for the first time.

When it became time for my amniocentesis and genetic counseling, I was terrified. Because of the medications and my age, I was fearful that my baby would have problems, and I expressed this fear to the group.

I got back dozens of supportive messages and hopes for our well-being. The group kept me buoyed during the long wait for the results. The tests came back stating that I was carrying a healthy boy, and when I told this to the group, I received many messages of relief and thankfulness.

When my older son’s dog got hit by a car and died, I posted this, and again, messages of support poured in. I shared them with my son, and while nothing could take away his pain, it comforted him to know that other people had experienced such a loss and were thinking of him.

Our pregnancies progressed and one by one we began delivering our children. We’d miss a member for a day, and come back to a message posted by Dad saying a healthy baby was born, mom was doing well and home nursing. Soon, the birth story would be posted, and we all exulted in her experience.

The list traffic dropped off as new mothers tried to get the hang of nursing and sleeping when their babies did. My baby was one of the last to be born, and by then I felt so alone. Yet, when I announced my son's birth, I had dozens of messages of congratulations in my in-box.

We also experienced tremendous tragedy. One of the babies didn’t make it. Little Addison was born healthy but contracted an infection and died three days later. We were all devastated. When I read that note, I cried tears of pain and anguish. Thankfully, her mother is doing well and is pregnant again, but none will ever forget little Addison’s short life.

After all the babies were born, the list traffic quieted for a while, but then as we became comfortable with our new lives, it grew again. The conversations that had revolved around our swollen bellies now revolved around nursing, and when to start solids.

Our friendships solidified as well, and as the babies became older, some of us began to travel to meet each other. I was privileged to have many members come to my home to visit with me, and I arranged a get together at Marine World near SF when the babies were 6 months old.

We wanted to created a tangible expression of our friendship, and so the quilt project came into being. Each member made a quilt square with their child's name and any other design they chose. I couldn’t participate, as I don’t sew.

Imagine my joy and surprise when I opened up a package delivered to my home and discovered a beautiful quilt with all the babies’ names, made just for me by another member of the list. It is framed and hanging in my dining room, in a place of honor.

The list has changed and grown apart, as is natural with people whose lives have intersected for a specific purpose that is now ended. Many of the younger mothers have had more children and some have moved on. I am still in touch with about 30 original members, and we send mail on a daily basis and participate in weekly chats.

My son Matt is now two and a half, and is the most beautiful child you have ever seen. I am ever grateful to the list and the people who made it possible to get through and enjoy my pregnancy, and to the internet which provides such a wonderful way of meeting people with common interests and goals.

I treasure these people who shared the joys and pains of an older mom struggling through a difficult and surprising pregnancy. I couldn’t have done it without their support.