At thirty-six years of age, I owned an 8088, which many people would consider to be a computer paperweight. But it didn't matter because all I wanted to do was to write anyway. So why would I need a fancy computer? I could hardly get around on my dinosaur as it was. I was a happy camper, or so I thought. I didn't realize that one action would open up a whole new world to me and I would never be the same again.

It was the yearning that finally got me to succumb. I wanted a college education so badly I could taste it, but I was thirty-six years old, and had only worked from home. I had just been a mom. I believed that being a mom was the most important work available and I still feel that way. Trouble was, there is something to be said for a mom that knew what was going on in the world outside of her own home. I had a sheltered life to say the least. In trying to protect my children, I was also protecting myself and it was claustrophobic. I knew it was time to venture out, but I was scared.

I had it in my mind to become a therapist. Like many other people, I had a rough childhood and was working it out with a great therapist. I was so affected by the changes I was making in my life that I wanted to be just like him. When I grew up, I wanted to be my therapist.

So I finally enrolled in college. It was a long awaited experience and I was ready. Once enrolled at the local University, fate smiled on me with a scholarship for one quarter. I was enrolled for one class, Social Work 105, but to keep the scholarship I had to enroll for another class. On a whim I picked Business 140, Micro-Computer Applications.

I thought for sure I was nuts to have enrolled in this class. Surely I would never be able to handle it. I fretted over it, twisting my hands until I nearly wore them out. My husband would smile patiently and tell me that I would do fine. I was sure I would flunk.

And then the weirdest thing happened. Here I was in the middle of the quarter, and I realized that I hated Social Work. Hated it. I cried through every chapter, through every lecture, through every film shown in class. I just wasn't strong enough to hear all the other horror stories that so closely related to my own. However, instead of feeling lost by the realization that what I thought I wanted all these years was totally wrong for me, I felt relieved.

I felt happy! The reason? Business 140, Micro-Computer Applications. I was flying high in this class, getting to know computers and the Internet. I was elated. I was in love. I had found my calling in life and I was excelling at it. My writing came to life as I found friends on the Net with goals reflecting my own. Research became easy and an adventure, with the Net supplying anything and everything a writer could ever want. I was spending a fraction of the time on research that I used to spend. It was a whole new world.

Without a doubt I knew that I wanted my major to be Business Information Systems. And now I wanted a minor as well, which would become Computer Science.

The dream all came together on Christmas, when my husband surprised me with a Micron, Pentium 133 with modem, fax, and a laser printer. Within two weeks of owning my new computer, I had a job on the Internet. Now I work for a company helping crafters learn how to market their work. So in the end I got to help people after all and the rewards have been huge. I have met people geographically far and close to me, and each has touched my life in a profound way.

You know what I think? I think my husband bought my computer so I would live at home again, instead of at the University. But life is never simple and I have yet to find my balance with computer life. So now my husband smiles and threatens to cut the cord. The cord between me and my computer. It will never happen. This is an umbilical cord to the world and never has such an instrument brought such joy.